Of course, that scream part is literal for Janice, the Falls' area's sole town cop slash police chief slash medical examiner slash sheriff-jailer-forest ranger-state smokey. She was cursed for attempting to set free the Beast of Brokenoggin, and now is at the beck and call of the elements around Brokenoggin Falls that pick her up and transport her to wherever someone screams. And boy, does she hate it! To top off her mood, she's beginning to look and feel fifty-ish. But it's a normal night of trolls-turning-into-garden-gnomes and a werewolf relative, Romeo formerly known as Remo, misbehaving...until the dispatcher/medium tells Janice that Vampyres, once nothing more than legend, are walking, and fighting, in Brokenoggin.

 

As part of an anthology, Naked Came the Vampyre couldn't be better. The humor reminded me slightly of MaryJanice Davidson's stories, but had a number of unique elements. Plainly, it was really, really funny. I think of it as a redneck paranormal romance. Sadly, Ms. Ramin didn't get to finish Seth and Janice's story immediately, which means I got to meet the tough heroine and sexy hero, Seth, but not much more (at least, not until later in the anthology). However, what was there was full of hilarity and sex appeal. Though I'd have loved to see a full story by Ms. Ramin with those two characters, I'm happy with what I got to read out of the entire anthology.

 

 

The harpy in the town's clock is driving the residents of Brokenoggin Falls nuts. Plus, because the harpy screams every five minutes, Janice can't stop disappearing and reappearing. At the same time a wizard appears in town, so does a Cuban named Juan who claims he can get rid of the harpy. But before he does, Maria has a bit of fun with him and the wizard.

 

Cute little story that introduced me to characters I hope to see later in the anthology. Because it was so short (seven pages), there wasn't a lot of characterization, and only a hint of what may come later, but I liked it. (However, after reading the entire anthology, this story seemed out of place, both in order, and in some details on the characters. But otherwise, it was a good short story).

 

 

John, after killing the mistress who'd planned to reveal his affair and getting away with it, has taken up watching three witches, the Tawdry triplets (Godiva, Gladys and Gerda), dance naked in the cemetery to perform magic. Of course, when their spell goes awry...

 

I recently stumbled across a Gena Showalter book on Amazon, and wondered about it, since I'd never heard of the author before. With this story, it's definitely being added to my To Buy List. This short story was funny and had a cute ending. But I'm kicking myself again since I didn't get to see more of it. As for John...well, if I ever find myself in his wife's place, I now have some inventive ways to get revenge.

 

 

After finding her own lover, Godiva thinks her friend, Candy Cox (excuse me, Candice), needs a lover, too. Maybe a werewolf lover.... Magic may not work on Candice, but it will work on a werewolf.

 

Sexy, funny and oh-so wrong. Even for a short story, characterization of Candy was really strong. And even though the ending was so, so wrong, getting to know her so well made it so, so funny.

 

 

Archaeologists are in town, and it couldn't be worse for them. Some of the residents have certain plans for the three scientists.

 

More humor, naturally, and a pretty good story. But I didn't really like the ending. The final interaction between Jean Luc and Vanessa didn't quite ring true. But beyond that, it was an interesting story and makes me want to find out if the author has any other books available.

 

 

 

Janice and Seth are back in this story. With every full moon, Seth loses his memory. Which means Janice has to make her first and best impression on him every time.

 

The shortest story yet, but I was glad to see Seth and Janice again. It was cute and left a lot of room for little jokes in the rest of the anthology.

 

 

Rowdy, the UPS guy in Brokenoggin and the only centaur, spends his time Googling himself...when he's not mooning over Tulah, a witch. And that's how he discovered eBay, and came up with the plan to get rich to attract Tulah, since his looks certainly can't do it. And that leads him to the post office, where a new postmistress is rumored to have the most sex-crazed effect on the men in town.

 

I wanted to like this story; it was certainly zany enough to appeal to me. But the writing style was really odd. I ended up more confused than anything else. Rowdy sometimes became "Earl," and when describing his centaur body, I never got a clear picture of it. During a sex scene, I didn't even realize they were actually having sex. Part of that was getting lost in a long euphemism about the Emerald City and racing horses and part was trying to imagine what Rowdy's body was like (a centaur has four legs, don't they?). But besides that, the zaniness did work for the story itself, and the story as part of the anthology.

 

 

Being the only fairy around lends itself to one-side conversations with mice, or conversations with oneself. Well, Morgan does have a half-fairy around, but she isn't speaking to him these days. After abandoning Oberon for the New World, Morganna settled in Brokenoggin but has pretty much been alone since. And that half-fairy she isn't talking to is the one person she wishes would care about her. But Joe seems too caught up in his pet wyvern to notice her.

 

Cute story by an author I haven't read in a while. I did find it odd that Morgan, a fairy, was female in this story, but seemed to be male in a previous one? (I wonder if perhaps Morgan was originally supposed to be a gay fairy in this story, judging by the "or" title. Instead, Morgan became Morganna with flaming wings and style of dress.) Feed Your Head seemed to have more romantic appeal than a few that came before it. Morgan was very serious in her pursuit of Joe, and I found their interaction adorable.

 

 

Emma Mincemeat is tired of being the only normal person in town (well, except for Alice, who refuses to come by after a certain...incident). Not only does it mean she looks her age (and add on birthing twelve kids), no one talks to her about the weird stuff in town. Even when they do talk to her about anything, it's often patronizing. So she buys Witchcraft for Dummies.

 

Hah! This was too funny! When I first read the "C.R.A.F.T." part, I didn't understand why it wasn't just the word 'craft.' But when it was revealed why, I laughed my butt off. Poor Emma. A horny werepanther for a husband and living in a town full of strange creatures. An utterly strange and funny ending that completely fit this anthology.

 

 

Withering, Scornful and Derisive are the powerful Disdaine triplets who are tired of being treated like kids. They're eleven now and should be treated like adults, especially since they are going to rule the world one day. So, they chase off the adults from their birthday party, but include a little extra to make sure their nights are just as bad.

 

If you've ever read a MaryJanice Davidson novella, then you'd expect crazy. And what could be better than triplet pre-teens with plenty of power and a penchant for black magic and evil? This is more of a story to set up what comes next in the anthology, but it was nutty and just right. I love the evil triplets!

 

 

Gavin, the town's resident wizard, usually takes a walk through town in the nude. He's pretty certain a lot of women just wait around to see him take his walk, given how often they seem to be doing something outside, but today...he just can't. A little pill he took was only supposed to work four hours, but he hasn't been able to get rid of his erection since it began!

 

Very amusing, enough to make me laugh out loud once or twice. The Gavin/Maria thing in this story didn't completely make sense, given a previous story, but I've since decided not to pay any attention to some of the inconsistencies in the anthology. I'd mention a scene I found one of the most hilarious in the book, but I don't want to give it away!

 

 

Mavis Gap's inner Wanton Whore is begging to get out. To put it more plainly, she's extremely horny. Watching a new man in town, Cade, trim her hedges isn't helping. He's utterly sexy...and he also, unfortunately, heads toward her back yard. Where her six husbands are buried.

 

Oh my...! Um, very unusual but hot sex here. I admit it, I blushed. A certain part of this story had me thinking of hentai. This one is one of my favorites in Bewitched, Bothered & BeVampyred. A wee bit of romances, some hot sex, and lots of wacky humor. I wouldn't have thought anyone could make Mavis Gap an enjoyable main character, but Ms. Laurenston did!

 

Episode 1.11 (an oops on Triskelion's part, I'm sure)
The Toad Prince by Therese Ramin

 

Alice's husband, Greg, forgets their thirteenth wedding anniversary, and she ends up calling him a giant toad for it. And he turns into one! But she can not be a witch. She refuses to allow it! But it doesn't explain why Greg is a giant toad, does it?

 

Judging by this story and the previous story, Ms. Ramin's sense of humor sometimes veers to morbid, though very amusing (creeping fingers, anyone?). I loved the weirdness that popped up here, as well as some little asides from previous stories. Alice was a pretty flesh-out character by the end of The Toad Prince, and I'm going to be reading on to see if her daughter is a feature in any of the rest of the stories. But basically, funny and sexy (and this time, I got farther than a hello!), and all-around enjoyable.

 

 

After a thousand (or was it two thousand?) years of torture, Demon, which is what they al are called in Hell, is finally being sentenced for the acts of random kindness he did on Earth. The High Demon-Lord of Self-Doubt and Second Thoughts, by Lucifer's will, is going to become a mortal...right in Brokenoggin. Of course, Demon isn't so sure that's a bad thing; after his one act of kindness towards the people who settled Brokenoggin, he realized he'd never be 100% bad.

 

Harmony Faithfull, a pastor without a congregation, prays to God for a sign...and gets one by way of the naked, beautiful man passed out in her garden.

 

I've really enjoyed Ms. Grant's books in the past, but I had no idea she could do utter hilarity! Oh, and the sexual tension (no sex--after all, Harmony is a pastor!) was insane! It's just too bad the story wasn't finished in this anthology. I'd have loved to see what happened with Damon (Demon) and Harmony.

 

Episode 1.13
Due to unforeseen Technical Difficulties (superstition and the fact that the skeletons from AnnMarie’s closet ate it) there is no episode 13.

 

 

Claudia, a witch, knows her marriage is in trouble, but she isn't sure the problems can be worked out. Her husband is just so very, very...passionless. The first time they made love was amazing, but now, not only do they not talk much, but the sex is almost nonexistent. But then Earl's mother drops in, and reveals a little (big) secret Earl had been keeping.

 

I can't recall if I've read a book by Ms. Putney before, but this story makes me want to. Clever, though not zany, and with a sweet little romance. Plus, Earl sounded sexy in a very calm, simmering sort of way. But I think my favorite character was Ma Mei.

 

 

Sam, a troll, likes nothing better than to munch on mushrooms and moss while living in the forest. So it's a bit of a surprise to wake up as a garden gnome, the joke of the magical world. To top it off, he's stuck on a horrible lawn, a curse laid on him that won't allow him to leave...and it just so happens that the lawn belongs to the Disdaine family.

 

Sam was as foul-tempered, crazy and completely weird as any character so far. I only wish I could've read what the Disdaine triplets did to him in detail. And when his wife finally show up...Hahaha! This is more of a comedic short story than a romantic one, but it's not to be missed.

 

 

 

Destiny is sick of living in the weird town of Brokenoggin with the weird residents. Her family is just as bad. She intends to find some normal guy to marry so she can get out of Brokenoggin. She met a cute college guy over the net and has a date with him tonight. Her plans include making him fall in love with her and proposing by 10:00-ish. But before she goes on her date, she has a run-in with the witch Wartly sisters...

 

Not bad a story at all. More of an anecdote on a teen living in Brokenoggin. It addresses one issue on living in Brokenoggin; I just had to wonder if anyone who wasn't a transplant thought it was weird! I particularly loved the ending to Pieces of Destiny.

 

 

Suzi Stiletto is a Demon Slayer. She was raised to be one after being dropped off in front of the Slayer Academy as a kid. But she violated too many rules, and was kicked out. Now all she has is her best friend Jimmy (turned into a cricket) and a job selling lingerie and sex toys. And that's how she ends up in Brokenoggin.

 

Get a group of Brokenoggin women in a room with sex toys and a little alcohol...and imagine the mayhem! Ms. Holliday has a real gift for making her main character seem a completely sane person in the middle of an insane bunch. As usual for this anthology, comic and hilarious, with an ending interesting enough to make any read yell, "Don't stop!"

 

 

Sam, Lord of the Trolls, is not only still stuck as a Garden Gnome on the Disdaine's lawn, but not he's unable to move anything but his eyes. But it has given him time to think about what he did to be cursed like that. Sadly, it only seems a matter of time before he's stuck as a Garden Gnome forever.

 

A little more sentimental than the first LOF-T: ROGG episode, but it made Sam into a more fleshed-out character. Kind of sweet, actually, even with Sam's customary lewdness.

 

 

Dorothea has taken her dog, Yodo, along to find Dr. O. Zexton Zinclair, author and creator of Pleasure Potions. She plants to meet him by claiming a flat tire and a broken cell phone, then bargain to get the potion that cures anorgasmic women that the AMA banned.

 

A little more sex thrown into this story, and with enough references to The Wizard of Oz to give a person the giggles anytime that movie comes on for the next year.  And, naturally, the romance was more of a focus in this story than many of the others, but it worked pretty well.

 

 

Seth and Janice are speeding a bit of time with each other when he finally remembers why he came to Brokenoggin. At the same time, his vampire brother, Simon, arrives in town looking for him. And, of course, it's the same time the town revels while Nihil and a few skeletons plan something nasty.

 

A great ending to a great anthology! Seth and Janice's story is finally completed (with lots of humor, of course), and I finally learned a few little secrets that were hinted at earlier. Romantic, funny, and just as sexy as the first story!