With the pornography he made her watch with him, he justified that by saying he was merely teaching her to clean herself, teaching her to be a woman. Then he made the comment she had waited for so long. He said he never penetrated her, so he did nothing wrong.
Then he said he was sorry if she thought he hurt her. She said that was Eric’s way of apologizing to her. Trying to make her think she imagined the years of abuse.
He then justified the rapes by telling her it was customary in African cultures for a father to take his daughters virginity right before marriage. That what happed with her and Carleen was a normal thing for fathers to do with their daughters. She admitted Eric’s constant denials angered her.
He was no longer denying the assaults. She now felt vindicated. She asked about the last time he tried raping her when she was seventeen. That was when Eric changed the subject completely she said. He now wanted to talk about Brigitte’s eighteen-year-old sister Lovette.
He claimed the girl was gang raped when she was a child in Liberia, during the time Brigitte was living there. He blamed Brigitte for the fact that no one in the family learned of Lovette’s rapes earlier.
Brigitte admitted she called him a liar, saying, she had nothing to do with Lovette’s rapes. He was playing on her guilt in case Lovette ever claimed Eric raped her, and Brigitte believed he already had. All the emotions Brigitte felt during her assaults rushed out-self-loathing, guilt, rage, and hate.
That was when things turned verbal then physical she said, but she was determined to stop him from raping children. She recalled yelling at him. She said he stood and stepped toward her and she removed the pepper spray she carried on her belt clip. She sprayed him several times while struggling to free herself from his grasp. They fell to the floor and the coffee table broke.
She said emotions raced through her mind at that moment. She did and did not understand that her actions were wrong. All she thought of she said, were her nieces. She had to keep Eric from hurting them, and the penis was the tool that did the hurting. “It was the evil in Eric,” she said.
She remembered her security-guard training and quickly got the upper hand. She recalled how he passed out. She then retrieved the handcuffs, a novelty she had bought, after her friends teased her about her job as a rent-a-cop. After placing them on Eric, she tied his legs together with a curtain cord. He woke and began screaming. She grabbed a towel from a nearby chair, stuffing it into his mouth and tying it around his neck. She then noticed he was having trouble breathing.